Sunday, August 27, 2006
if u have been visiting here, i suppose u muz be wondering y i nv blog for so many days.. for the past week i had exams n i was studying almost 12hours a day? i have every confident to pass all the papers except AAA.. my accounting sucks forever i guess.. n AAA was on fri.. i felt so sian after the paper.. when they comparing answers.. mine is like 90% wrong... but i was still happy tat exams have ended.. and thinking finally i can give u more time.. haha.. i was wrong.. terribly wrong.. i knew it would happen.. but i chose not to believe till the whole truth is being found out by myself.. y dun u jus tell me u like ur classmate? y muz u let me find out myself? i felt so terrible after i read ur blog.. really terrible.. perhaps it's all my wishful tinking.. ask urself y did i gave up fang n choose u... fang actually was ready to accept me... but i chose u instead.. now i think back i felt like i m such a fool arent i? now i m laughin at myself so being such a fool.. everything happened so suddenly... n u expect me to still treat u as fren? i wish i could.. but i cant.. it's not i dun wan.. i jus cant.. i cant accept wad happened so suddenly.. i nv noe if i will ever accept it.. but i dun blame u.. instead i blame myself.. blame myself for being so silly.. blame myself for liking u.. blame myself for changing heart.. blame myself to let down fang.. blame myself to trust my feelin... blame myself yes everything blame myself.. but i guess after 48hours or so.. i m feelin much better den fri nite.. i muz thank fang for meetin me ytd.. but i guess during the time i spend with her which was like abt 3 n a half hours.. i think i spoke to her less den 5 sentences.. i rmb i ask her, had ur lunch? wad show she wan watch, she nid any drink? n said sorry to her. that's all.. i dint noe y i behave like tat.. perhaps i felt so guilty tat i din noe wad i can say to her.. for all the things n misunderstanding of her, she still treat me as a fren.. but i dun think i wanna mit her again... cos definitely i dunno wad to say to her.. cos i noe i dunno wad to say.. n i feel so ashamed to face her also..
anyway i m really alright now.. i gona start attachment tmr.. excited.. first time do office work.. anyway i m quitting my maplestory account. however i would play. but not my account.. play my fren account.. cos i dun like play my account already..
on 8:56 PM
Thursday, August 17, 2006
i m now taking a break away from studying.. study till dam sad.. lol.. see so many things i dunno.. hahaha.. think this sem i m so screwed up! guess my gpa will become like 2 like tat only liao.. die man.. jus now decide to study for EC since the paper is this sat.. feeling so motivated i started preparing to revise.. but after i see the past yr exam question i went ???? so many things i dunno... but still motivated i went on to search for the answers in textbook.. i wonder if is the text bk lousy or i m just stupid tat i cant find the answers.. so i went onto mel to search for ppt slides to see if i can find the answers.. but den still cannot find.. all the motivation is gone for studying EC.. i read abt the format.. 1st question is alway sort of the most difficult.. luckily the 2nd question is abt our project.. thank god i noe a lot abt the project.. but it was like quite long ago.. guess i would have to go thru the workshop notes again later.. or tmr.. depends wad time my motivation come back..
jus now read ST again.. lol... there is this section named as Urban.. inside say abt some blogs.. lol.. quite stupid la.. actually my plan today is to go hougang point the kfc there to study but i ended up at home... cos when i woke up my bro jus nice came home.. den he ask me going to buy breakfast ah? so i said ya.. den he say help him buy.. ZzzZZzz... so i go buy for him n buy breakfast for myself also.. so ended up nv go hougang pt n now staying at home.. i noe myself very well.. i cant study at home.. i will feel lethargic n no motivation to study.. especially my laptop is like so freakin close to me.. great temptation to play game.. or do wadever i doing now.. hahaa... guess tmr i really have to kip myself away from home n study! sat paper is like 9am... tmr muz really study liao.. if not no time... sun and monday muz chiong for 4 modules.. zzz..
i anticipate tis semester will be the first semester i will do very very very badly.. although the past 2 semesters were bad enough.. seriously i hate studying.. i prefer to be working.. but without a dam diploma will be dam hard to get a job.. studied for so many years jus for tis stupid piece of paper... maybe i chose the wrong course.. actually i din really wanted to take biz studies.. i should have took S&W management in NYP cos i like to play sports.. lol.. sometimes i wonder y i was foolish enough to chose NP, but when i think of the friends i made there, it's fantastic.. i m glad i have a grp of people who can be considered my gd buddies in NP. however i really miss my sec sch frens.. most of them are in NYP.. sighs.. i miss playing soccer with them.. having studied n play tgr with them for like at least 5yrs... some 11yrs.. we really noe each other quite well.. haha... i miss the soccer people in sec sch.. only play with them den i can play better cos we noe each other playing style very well.. maybe after my exams i should ask them out to play soccer during weekends.. i think tis entry is the longest entry i have ever blog.. cos i m really trying hard to slack.. hahaha...
2 weeks after the start of next semester, POLITE games will start.. POLITE doesn't consist of Uni to compete with us.. i guess chances of getting 2nd for guys teams is quite high as i feel tat among all polys, we would only lose to NYP(whom have "foreign talent") however, the rest of the Polys are strong too.. SP have got Pang Xuebin.. TP have got a guy whom i forgot his name.. but his performance during last IVP impressed me.. RP i guess they might as well RIP as their top 2 players graduated =x.. due to the attachment i suppose i wont be able to go for my holiday trainings... i suppose i nid to call my own coach ask if she would be free on sat or sunday to train me.. i seriously wanna get 2nd.. cos 1st is like out of reach.. i suppose the women team will get 1st, as we have got 1 "foreign talent" and the rest of the team is like made up of senior players. i hope they get 1st cos with their strength now. they are strong enough to beat all the Polys.. our foreign talent(Zhang Wen) whom i really respect a lot as she is really dam gd.. she had been giving me advices during training n training me too... but i guess all the training gone to waste as i haven trained for like 1mth?
oh yea.. tat day went to watch fireworks at marina with the fellow SCOs.. decided to post some photo i took there... din took photos of fireworks as i video it.. haha..
And that's Daisy in the middle, with Wee Leong covering his face and Amelia in white(back facing cam)
A picture of Amelia and Jie Ping taking a photo of themselves
Presenting to you Jason Yong, my SCO for last yr orientation and he's my HRO tis yr. haha
And this is Wee Leong. He's a funny guy. (Mori thinks he look like a kid in tis pic)
And tis is Mori(my SCO partner) and me. oh god.. my bro tot she's my gf.. ZZZZ.. She's NOT my gf.
Mori n me again, tis time Tommy(my AHRO) sneaking up behind us. i look shocked cos the flash light of the cam is too bright for me..
And so Jason sugguest we take a photo with Tommy tgr. haha
And Wee Leong giving a post for the pic.
And this is Daniel whom we watched movie with after the fireworks. Taken at Dhoby Ghaut MRT.
Thats all for now.. haha.. all the pics taken from my new phone =x K800i with 3.2Mega Pixel.. hahaha..
guess i go play some game first =xxxxx... later study again.. hehe..
on 2:08 PM
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
dunno wad's wrong with me today. study half way suddenly felt lonely.. haiz.. n start to feel slpy.. studied from ard 12pm to 3pm den feel slpy.. den came home n slp.. slp till 6 plus den wake up.. i m glad u finally tell me ur blog url.. at least now i noe how u felt? alway ask u den u dun wan say.. i m not someone who can really tell how u feel unless u say..
i wished u could be by my side.. but since u dun wan to be in r/s.. i wont force u.. all i can do is learn to adapt to the loneliness and wait for ur acceptance.. since i made the choice between u n her.. i will cherish u more den anyone else.
i'm lookin forward to the end of ur exams. i hope u wont change ur mind to go out with me by that time. was disappointed once on ur b'day.. hope there wont be a 2nd time..
looking forward to end of exams. yet i wish exams could be further away. i love myself yet i hate myself sometimes. i wan to study but i m lazy. i wan to play yet i would worry abt exams. we r so close yet so far apart. i hate to worry but i have to
if life could be better. there would be lesser suicide case
on 12:06 AM
Friday, August 11, 2006
ytd went to sch play soccer... suppose to mit at 9.30am.. den everyone came late.. zz.. only manage to start playing at 10.30 like tat.. i reached abt 9.40 den no one there.. zz... wait so long.. den when everyone is here we play till 2+ den faster go get changed n go eat.. den go for the ITP briefing.. my Liaison officier quite nice.. haha.. she printed for us most of the papers tat we nid to dl from mel to complete.. today i m feelin so super tired... physically n mentally.. lol.. perhaps later in the day den i go revise.. now dun feel like revising.. alway lack of the sense of urgency to study whenever exam comes..
now i look at my skin i think i look like lobster... so red... face, arm, leg... all so red.. zz... like cooked like tat.. lol.. jus now read Straits Times.. lol.. read abt the british capture a grp of terrorist trying to bomb the planes.. sighs.. tis world is crazy... middle east crisis, plane bombing plot, bus collide with bus(in today ST also). where had the world peace gone to?
next sat is my first paper..E-commerce.. hahaha.. haven study a single ting abt it.. but wed i studied ief 1st chpt and 70% of 2nd chpt.. lol... i m so slow.. haha.. so slpy.. aiks.. after type finish tis muz go mel submit the pledge form for itp.. ytd get to no my pay for OCBC... $30/day.. not bad for itp.. lol.. my frens they only got 450 like tat a mth.. mine 600 a mth.. lol.. quite gd.. lucky got Pin-Chen aha.. if not sure get some stupid attachment 1.. he helped me,mori,morgan to self source OCBC.. ytd den noe the full name of OCBC.. lol.. Oversea-Chinese Banking Corporation Limited. den the briefing say wad muz make use of the chance to broaden our networking.. haha.. tat means muz stay in contact with people there.. hopefully la.. haha.. maybe gif them gd impression den yr3 IAP can go back there again.. haha.. den will be nice..
anyway now i understand morgan can be single despite being such a wonderful guy.. hahhaa.. tat's all i wanna type le.. having slight headache.. mori rmb go submit pledge form oh..
on 11:59 AM
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
hmm.. guess things are getting worse for us each day ba.. also dunno wad i can do... but nvm ba.. i dun intend to do anything.. feel like giving up.. tis whole ting is like a joke to me.. we nv met b4 already have so many problems.. surely very hard to progress.. so i think i should give up le.. perhaps who i nid the someone who is ard my age who can understand me..
i feel tat i made the same mistake again... but wad to do.. already happen..
har.. suan le.. exams coming.. gotta study.. i hope i can.. lol... still dun have the mood the study neither had i start studying.. k.. i shall promise myself tis is the last day i m allowing myself to slack.. tmr muz study le... tat's all for today... anyway really look forward to the end of the exams and attachment.. n the first ting i would do is to dye my hair.. 2nd would be looking ard for a new desktop..
k guess tat's all for today.. n hmm.. mori n yh dun nid to worry for me.. i m alright..
on 12:33 PM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
ytd went for iDARE preglow(outing b4 the actual camp) at Sentosa, it was fun but very tired.. cos we was runnin all over sentosa... but i think i m lucky to be in a gd team.. as in we work well together n had lotsa fun.. get to noe a number of new frens..
ytd u had ur competition at tpy hdb hub, i planned to skip preglow to go there.. but it was u who dun wan me go n find u.. so i went to preglow.. i think maybe i m getting busier n busier each day tat i got no time for u.. i think i m making the same mistake again.. why is it alway like tis.. maybe i cant balance my commitments with r/s.. i dun even noe wad is our r/s.. are we frens, gd frens, in between frens n couple or wad.. u ask me r u granted to me.. of cos not.. why would i take time off n sms u n ask u abt ur competition.. n when i didnt receive ur sms.. u thought i didnt reply u.. perhaps i m weak in r/s.. i find myself quite naive.. we have nv met b4.. yet we are already havin so much problems.. i really doubt myself.. m i really such a capable guy whom i think of myself.. m i really tat nice? i seriously dunno.. i have problems with my frens too.. i also dunno y..
i dun wish tis to affect me.. exams are coming.. those who r reading dun have to worry abt me.. i have grown up.. i can handle such stress and pressure.. i will be fine..
on 1:09 PM
